weak.

i think i've mentioned this before but... i'm usually amazed at the nurses that i meet. went out again with a the brit couple that joined our crew. pints, glasses of wine and bellinis. it honestly amazes me the personalities, values and beliefs that nurses encompass. the experiences, the stories, the compassion, the fiery deference that stiffens the spine. people wonder what we do... the only way i can describe it is partially nursing, partially medicinal, partially social worker, physiotherapist, occupational therapist or respiratory therapist. the job i get paid for encompasses 10 different professions yet i get paid for one. HOWEVER.. i love what i do and the options that my profession provides... travel, education and experience.
i love listening to the words that come out of my colleagues... their stories, their experiences, their reflections on what nursing is and what it means to them. ultimately i think there's a big femenist component that we need to embrace and start eliminating the cattiness aspect however being a female dominiated profession... how the fuck are we going to do that. the competition between women is so different than the competition between men. men will beat the shit out of each other and be done with it. women... on the other hand... hold grudges, keep secrets, fake companionship and ensure retribution. we are the ultimate in manipulation and mind games.

i hate it. i hate the fact that women are socialized to be babymakers, mothers, wives, stereotypical role models. not that i don't mind these roles but the fact they feel forced upon me vs choosing them is very non-conducive to my progression towards the expected. in reality it makes me avoid what's expected of me and I kind of like it. not that i've ever really felt conventional or conformist but somedays reality hits me like a ton of bricks.

ridiculous.

some of the note's i've received from friends.... "fuck vancouver. come back here.......asshole. i love you. "