it's times like these...

last night i:

-helped a 22 year old girl die
-hugged her parents after she passed and all i could say was "i'm so sorry"
-watched another nurse extract her eyes for possible cornea donation
-had my name written down in an RCMP's little black investigation book
-wrapped her bruised and broken body in a bag and zipped it up over her mangled and swollen face
-admitted a 74 year old man who was filming something while riding his motorcycle in vegas
-changed multiple manky road rash dressings
-tried to get 12 hours of work done in 3

i feel like i've been standing for weeks... sitting feels like a foreign movement to me... something so simple is awkward and flailing. it just doesn't feel right... but my legs and feet are numb... when i wake up they will be stiff and sore... feet so tender that i can barely walk but lucky for me i get to do 12 hours all over again tonight.

all that mattered to me this morning was the sun on my face and the cool breeze on my skin. it was the best feeling after a night like that. sunglasses covering the bags that look like black eyes. meandering home absently on autopilot... legs doing what my brain had short circuited out on about 3 hours ago.

now i'm home.. in bed.
drifting...