Monday, September 6, 2010
Friday, October 31, 2008
ya ya...
to avoid complete and utter boredom i'll keep the update short and sweet.
everybody likes point form right? and pictures... loooove pictures.
*went home for 2 weeks and watched 2 of my friends get married (not to each other!)
*lost my voice for the vast majority of those 2 weeks as a result of being sick for the first 4 days i was home
*stayed with my wife in ottawa and my good friends dave and robyn in north bay
*got hit on by some creepy dude who kept creeping after mentioning i had a boyfriend several times
*went from blonde to brunette
*had a weird glimpse into what my life would have been like if i had never left ottawa
pictorials:
*shortly after returning from ontario i went to vernon to meet the parents
*was super nervous at first but discovered matthew's mom and i are very similar
*we're both "dippy" as he says
*took some pics with a 20 pound canon (extra battery back plus vertical grip) i could barely hold it up to my eye
*had "squash" pie instead of pumpkin for thanksgiving... and i must say.. it was better... don't tell my aunt margaret
evidence:
*lastly, the old man and i went to a cocktail after wedding party for our lovely friends breadman and adrienne
*got a sweet photo taken
*my mother's comment "whats with all the bare breasted women? lol "
*yes my mother wrote "lol"...love you mom
this night is moving so slowly.
everybody likes point form right? and pictures... loooove pictures.
*went home for 2 weeks and watched 2 of my friends get married (not to each other!)
*lost my voice for the vast majority of those 2 weeks as a result of being sick for the first 4 days i was home
*stayed with my wife in ottawa and my good friends dave and robyn in north bay
*got hit on by some creepy dude who kept creeping after mentioning i had a boyfriend several times
*went from blonde to brunette
*had a weird glimpse into what my life would have been like if i had never left ottawa
pictorials:
*shortly after returning from ontario i went to vernon to meet the parents
*was super nervous at first but discovered matthew's mom and i are very similar
*we're both "dippy" as he says
*took some pics with a 20 pound canon (extra battery back plus vertical grip) i could barely hold it up to my eye
*had "squash" pie instead of pumpkin for thanksgiving... and i must say.. it was better... don't tell my aunt margaret
evidence:
*lastly, the old man and i went to a cocktail after wedding party for our lovely friends breadman and adrienne
*got a sweet photo taken
*my mother's comment "whats with all the bare breasted women? lol "
*yes my mother wrote "lol"...love you mom
this night is moving so slowly.
Friday, October 10, 2008
well well...
i know it's been a while and this is all i can come up with.
give me a break though.. i'm at work and don't really have anything meaningful to write. i stole this from daniyell.
1. What time did you get up this morning? 0614 (still on day shift time)
2. Diamonds or pearls? neither... i usually wear wood or surgical stainless steel
3. What was the last film you saw at the movies? Dark Knight probably... in the summertime... yikes
4. What is your favorite TV show? JEOPARDY annnd so you think you can dance
5. What do you eat for breakfast? usually cereal and a cup of tea
6. What is your middle name? Chantele
7. What food do you dislike? OLIVES... filthy little things
8. What is your favorite CD at the moment? Alela Diane - Pirate Gospel
9. What kind of car do you drive? i like danielle's answer... i drive my feet
10. Favorite sandwich? the kind with lots of tasty veggies on it
12. Favorite item of clothing? my newest bench hoodie
13. If you could go anywhere in the world for a vacation, where would you go? everywhere
14. What color is your bathroom? beige maybe... ask matthew.. he painted it
15. Favorite brand of clothing? bench.. they make sweet hoodies
16. Where would you retire? costa rica
17. Most memorable birthday? 25 with that skank christine... and manuella
18. Favorite Sport to watch? olympic diving
19. Favorite saying? collis este tabernac
20. When is your birthday? not for another 7 months
21. Are you a morning person or a night person? i think i'm a mid morning person; i can also nap anytime of the day
22. What is your shoe size? 8.5
23. Favorite food for Dinner? those tasty spicy shrimpies i poached from a jamie oliver cookbook
24. What did you want to be when you were little? an orthopaedic surgeon
25. What are you doing today? well.. i'm currently working over night... then i shall go home and sleep for a while then venture off for an appointment and cat food
26. What is your favorite candy? the kind that doesn't hurt my teeth
27. What is your favorite flower? not sure.. i like them all
28. What day are you looking forward to most on your calendar? going to vernon, going home for the family christmas par-tay
29. What church do you attend? the church of sleeping in on sunday
30. What are you listening to right now? the white noise of the icu
31. What was the last thing you ate? suzannes fries and pasta
32. Do you wish on stars? hahahah no
33. Do you believe in Angels? not at all
34. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? a dark red one
35. What is your pet peeve? oooh slow walkers (good one danielle) and people who ask stupid questions
36. Last person you spoke to on the phone? some family member inquiring about a patient
37. Favorite soft drink? ginger ale
38. Favorite restaurant? my kitchen
39. Siblings? i favourite sister!
40. Favorite day of the year? usually christmas
41. Favorite day of the Week? the ones i'm not working
42. Spring or Fall: spring... cause that means the flowers come out and it's (hopefully) going to get warm again
43. Hugs or kisses? both in large quantities
44. Chocolate or vanilla? chocolate unless we're talking about soya milk
45. What is under your bed? a stack of skate decks, a tupperware of sheets, an empty shoe box... but no furballs.. i swept it today!
46. Who is the friend you've had longest? jay h... he's known me since i was born... we were bath buddies. maybe don't tell his girlfriend that
47. What did you do last night? worked... came home... made dinner... ate said dinner... cleaned up and went to bed... i know.. i lead an exciting life
48. Favorite smell? anything baking in the oven, clean laundry, lemongrass or ginger
49. What are you afraid of? falling from heights
50. How many keys on your key ring? 6 or 7 maybe...
51. How many years at your current job? one... and one month
52. Favorite city to visit? montreal, san francisco, halifax, toronto
53. How many towns have you lived in? 5 or so
54. Do you make friends easily? i suppose.
give me a break though.. i'm at work and don't really have anything meaningful to write. i stole this from daniyell.
1. What time did you get up this morning? 0614 (still on day shift time)
2. Diamonds or pearls? neither... i usually wear wood or surgical stainless steel
3. What was the last film you saw at the movies? Dark Knight probably... in the summertime... yikes
4. What is your favorite TV show? JEOPARDY annnd so you think you can dance
5. What do you eat for breakfast? usually cereal and a cup of tea
6. What is your middle name? Chantele
7. What food do you dislike? OLIVES... filthy little things
8. What is your favorite CD at the moment? Alela Diane - Pirate Gospel
9. What kind of car do you drive? i like danielle's answer... i drive my feet
10. Favorite sandwich? the kind with lots of tasty veggies on it
12. Favorite item of clothing? my newest bench hoodie
13. If you could go anywhere in the world for a vacation, where would you go? everywhere
14. What color is your bathroom? beige maybe... ask matthew.. he painted it
15. Favorite brand of clothing? bench.. they make sweet hoodies
16. Where would you retire? costa rica
17. Most memorable birthday? 25 with that skank christine... and manuella
18. Favorite Sport to watch? olympic diving
19. Favorite saying? collis este tabernac
20. When is your birthday? not for another 7 months
21. Are you a morning person or a night person? i think i'm a mid morning person; i can also nap anytime of the day
22. What is your shoe size? 8.5
23. Favorite food for Dinner? those tasty spicy shrimpies i poached from a jamie oliver cookbook
24. What did you want to be when you were little? an orthopaedic surgeon
25. What are you doing today? well.. i'm currently working over night... then i shall go home and sleep for a while then venture off for an appointment and cat food
26. What is your favorite candy? the kind that doesn't hurt my teeth
27. What is your favorite flower? not sure.. i like them all
28. What day are you looking forward to most on your calendar? going to vernon, going home for the family christmas par-tay
29. What church do you attend? the church of sleeping in on sunday
30. What are you listening to right now? the white noise of the icu
31. What was the last thing you ate? suzannes fries and pasta
32. Do you wish on stars? hahahah no
33. Do you believe in Angels? not at all
34. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? a dark red one
35. What is your pet peeve? oooh slow walkers (good one danielle) and people who ask stupid questions
36. Last person you spoke to on the phone? some family member inquiring about a patient
37. Favorite soft drink? ginger ale
38. Favorite restaurant? my kitchen
39. Siblings? i favourite sister!
40. Favorite day of the year? usually christmas
41. Favorite day of the Week? the ones i'm not working
42. Spring or Fall: spring... cause that means the flowers come out and it's (hopefully) going to get warm again
43. Hugs or kisses? both in large quantities
44. Chocolate or vanilla? chocolate unless we're talking about soya milk
45. What is under your bed? a stack of skate decks, a tupperware of sheets, an empty shoe box... but no furballs.. i swept it today!
46. Who is the friend you've had longest? jay h... he's known me since i was born... we were bath buddies. maybe don't tell his girlfriend that
47. What did you do last night? worked... came home... made dinner... ate said dinner... cleaned up and went to bed... i know.. i lead an exciting life
48. Favorite smell? anything baking in the oven, clean laundry, lemongrass or ginger
49. What are you afraid of? falling from heights
50. How many keys on your key ring? 6 or 7 maybe...
51. How many years at your current job? one... and one month
52. Favorite city to visit? montreal, san francisco, halifax, toronto
53. How many towns have you lived in? 5 or so
54. Do you make friends easily? i suppose.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
The Art of Dying
There's a strange haze over the city tonight. The kind of haze where you’re not quite sure whether it’s cloud cover or night creeping in. The pathetic fallacy that’s synonymous with my mood… unsure if it’s one feeling or the other. Darkness vs distortion.
I had an interesting conversation with a former colleague this evening. The topic surrounded the withdrawal of life support/care on 17-21 year old patients. Zoe left the ICU to go work in a clinic. When she first left I was astounded; flabbergasted as to how you could ever leave the ICU to work in a boring clinic. But a couple of recent experiences enlightened me to how one could leave intensive care and nursing entirely.
A couple weeks ago I took care of a 17 year old victim of a gunshot wound to the face. The ambulance attendants found him Vital Signs Absent (VSA) at the scene… they performed CPR for 10 minutes and brought him back with the knowledge that he would probably have a severe anoxic brain injury. Essentially he was a vegetable with little to no brain activity. Without the ventilator he would be dead since the bullet went right through his spinal cord and severed it… annihilating the brain’s pathway to initiate vital respiration. For two days I took care of him… turned him, bathed him, assessed him to see if there were any signs of brain activity. Vacant stares turned into eyes that closed and would never open again. The mother sobbed at the bedside and begged for more time with her son… praying for a miracle to bring him back to her.
Zoe left a week before that which came as a surprise. The week before she left she admitted a 20 year old boy who thought it was a good idea to jump from roof top to roof top while intoxicated. He ended up herniating his brain into the space where his spinal cord was because there was so much swelling in his head. Zoe kept him comfortable while he passed away. To her, that was the last straw.
As ICU nurses I think there’s this expectation to be strong and distanced and stoic about the people we palliate. Life and death… that is our job. But this doesn’t come without consequence. Underneath we still are humans who feel and hurt and suffer. The things that we do become “normal” to us. Something that is just “part of what we do”. Something that just comes with the territory of being a nurse who works in intensive care. Sometimes we help people live… and sometimes we help people die. I don’t think anybody realizes (even ourselves) how much of an effect that has on our hearts, our minds and our souls. The devastation and the helplessness does NOT pass us by. Outwardly we are expected to keep ourselves together… maintain composure… avoid getting emotionally involved. But how… I ask you… do you do that when you’re watching a 20-year-old boy take his last breaths. How do you tell his mother that everything will be ok? Trying to convince her that her only son is in a better place. How the hell do you do that without falling apart?
That’s why Zoe left. And that will probably be the reason I’ll leave one day. The emotional toll that this job takes is unforgiveable and irrevocable. I’ve cried more over the last 3 weeks than I have over the last year. Some days it makes me sick to my stomach and other days it makes me want to do something completely different than nursing. Something that doesn't make me hurt the way I do.
I had an interesting conversation with a former colleague this evening. The topic surrounded the withdrawal of life support/care on 17-21 year old patients. Zoe left the ICU to go work in a clinic. When she first left I was astounded; flabbergasted as to how you could ever leave the ICU to work in a boring clinic. But a couple of recent experiences enlightened me to how one could leave intensive care and nursing entirely.
A couple weeks ago I took care of a 17 year old victim of a gunshot wound to the face. The ambulance attendants found him Vital Signs Absent (VSA) at the scene… they performed CPR for 10 minutes and brought him back with the knowledge that he would probably have a severe anoxic brain injury. Essentially he was a vegetable with little to no brain activity. Without the ventilator he would be dead since the bullet went right through his spinal cord and severed it… annihilating the brain’s pathway to initiate vital respiration. For two days I took care of him… turned him, bathed him, assessed him to see if there were any signs of brain activity. Vacant stares turned into eyes that closed and would never open again. The mother sobbed at the bedside and begged for more time with her son… praying for a miracle to bring him back to her.
Zoe left a week before that which came as a surprise. The week before she left she admitted a 20 year old boy who thought it was a good idea to jump from roof top to roof top while intoxicated. He ended up herniating his brain into the space where his spinal cord was because there was so much swelling in his head. Zoe kept him comfortable while he passed away. To her, that was the last straw.
As ICU nurses I think there’s this expectation to be strong and distanced and stoic about the people we palliate. Life and death… that is our job. But this doesn’t come without consequence. Underneath we still are humans who feel and hurt and suffer. The things that we do become “normal” to us. Something that is just “part of what we do”. Something that just comes with the territory of being a nurse who works in intensive care. Sometimes we help people live… and sometimes we help people die. I don’t think anybody realizes (even ourselves) how much of an effect that has on our hearts, our minds and our souls. The devastation and the helplessness does NOT pass us by. Outwardly we are expected to keep ourselves together… maintain composure… avoid getting emotionally involved. But how… I ask you… do you do that when you’re watching a 20-year-old boy take his last breaths. How do you tell his mother that everything will be ok? Trying to convince her that her only son is in a better place. How the hell do you do that without falling apart?
That’s why Zoe left. And that will probably be the reason I’ll leave one day. The emotional toll that this job takes is unforgiveable and irrevocable. I’ve cried more over the last 3 weeks than I have over the last year. Some days it makes me sick to my stomach and other days it makes me want to do something completely different than nursing. Something that doesn't make me hurt the way I do.
Monday, August 11, 2008
moved in.
Momma Scap sent me home some herbies from her garden because she couldn't make it out to Vancouver with Poppa Scap.
This is what I did with them.
I worked 72 hours this week. I feel tired and thin but I've got a few more of weeks like this before I go home in September. Gotta pay for rent and weddings and apartment things.
In other news, this was the view from our balcony last night...
This is what I did with them.
I worked 72 hours this week. I feel tired and thin but I've got a few more of weeks like this before I go home in September. Gotta pay for rent and weddings and apartment things.
In other news, this was the view from our balcony last night...
Monday, July 28, 2008
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Naughty....
I've been searching for this damn song all day... trying to find a way to get it on my ipod cause I can't get it out of my head... and lo and behold... the damn girl is from Vancouver... for the love of jebus. Finally found a copy of it on the L word Season 3 Soundtrack which is where (duh?!) I first heard it.
Makes me want to dance up on the old man. Unfortunately he's at the new apartment workin' his ass off painting over the god awful peach crap that the dickhead painter put up before. Gross. He's put in about 24 hours in the last 2 days.... lots of work to be done before we move in... Wednesday. It's coming up really soon and guess who starts work tomorrow... me. Sweet. But despite being tight on cash we've got some sweeeet stuff to deck out our pad. It's going to be so nice to have a place to live in that we actually enjoy being in, that's clean and comfortable. No ants, weird bugs, mold, consistently dirty floors... AND how amazing will it be to have an address for more than a year... eh? EH???? I don't think I've had the same address for 2 years in a row since I left 327 Cyr... That works out to moving 6 times in the last 3 years. Can you say....B-A-L-L A-C-H-E?
Now all I have to do is keep my fingers crossed he'll still love me in two years. (Jokes hun... jokes). Despite finding my cellphone in the washing machine yesterday... I'm happy as a clam.
Makes me want to dance up on the old man. Unfortunately he's at the new apartment workin' his ass off painting over the god awful peach crap that the dickhead painter put up before. Gross. He's put in about 24 hours in the last 2 days.... lots of work to be done before we move in... Wednesday. It's coming up really soon and guess who starts work tomorrow... me. Sweet. But despite being tight on cash we've got some sweeeet stuff to deck out our pad. It's going to be so nice to have a place to live in that we actually enjoy being in, that's clean and comfortable. No ants, weird bugs, mold, consistently dirty floors... AND how amazing will it be to have an address for more than a year... eh? EH???? I don't think I've had the same address for 2 years in a row since I left 327 Cyr... That works out to moving 6 times in the last 3 years. Can you say....B-A-L-L A-C-H-E?
Now all I have to do is keep my fingers crossed he'll still love me in two years. (Jokes hun... jokes). Despite finding my cellphone in the washing machine yesterday... I'm happy as a clam.
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